Smith, 58, who says he believes homosexual behavior is wrong on religious grounds, tried to tough it out. He spent 17 years in a doomed marriage while battling his urges all day, he said, and dreaming about them all night. Smith said in an interview at the house in Bakersfield, Calif. Ex-gay men are often closeted, fearing ridicule from gay advocates who accuse them of self-deception and, at the same time, fearing rejection by their church communities as tainted oddities. Here in California, their sense of siege grew more intense in September when Gov. Aaron Bitzer, 35, was so angered by the California ban, which will take effect on Jan. To those who call the therapy dangerous, Mr.
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